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7 Insignificant Things About A Highly Inconsequential Person

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Amit has accused me of writing inspiring blogs...and has even given me this award. At first I thought he was being cheeky. Then I realized he was not...he actually meant it. But I tell you I wash my hands off all responsibility – if you have issues with this award, please catch hold of Amit. Amit – you naive one...thanks for the award. I feel humbled and....oh darn it! I grabbed the award with an evil grin and did a hop and a skip. I’m bloody flattered out of my socks.

So now, just grabbing the award is not enough I believe. I have to inflict further suffering on you, poor readers. I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself. And then, I am supposed to accuse someone else of being inspiring. Let’s get started shall we?

1) I’m a coffee addict. I neighed like a horse and shrieked like banshee when some twat of a minister wanted to make tea the ‘national drink’. I mean really? That sludge that needs to be boiled and boiled? That damn slush that half the population can’t prepare decently? They over-boil the milk and serve scalding liquid with a film of sickly cream covering the surface? That slosh which cannot get a taste unless you add cardamoms and cloves and ginger and what have you? Seriously? Now look at our south Indian filter coffee. I’ve not tasted anything like it anywhere in the world. And the aroma while roasting the coffee beans ...unbeatable. Can tea do that? Can it? huh?

2) The above rant must have given you a clue about my next characteristic. Schizophrenic ranting. I’ll be a charm as I grow older for sure. They’ll probably put me in solitary confinement.

3) I am deeply suspicious of government, lawyers, cops, doctors, realtors and smiling bankers. And even more deeply, deeply suspicious of overly religious people.

4) I believe in aliens.

5) I’m more of a mountain and valley person...and not so thrilled about beach and sand and sea. Maybe because I visualise the sea/ocean as a heaving, breathing organism with a mind of its own. Treacherous, shape-shifting buggery thing.

Woman with a flower - Picasso
Courtesy - http://euroclubsschools.co.uk
6) Picasso’s paintings give me the creeps. I’m sorry but I find calling it ‘art’ a load of bull. I mean check out this painting titled 'Woman with a flower'. Seriously WTF? Dali too has the same effect on me. When it comes to literature, I don’t understand Kafka either. And I hate self-help preachy books about winning and monks and cars and habits and all the collective How To Be Successful shit.

7) I hope to meet Stephen King someday and give him a guru dakshina. No other modern day writer can match his imagination or his power of narration. His insight into human mind is simply astounding.





And now that you’ve wasted a good couple of minutes of your life that you’ll never get back, I’ll pass on the baton to two really interesting bloggers. Now THEY are inspiring.



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